Do you need to score some points with the Game Master? Do you want to make sure that every person around the gaming table will never forget playing with you? Do you want to make a great and lasting impression with your group?

Roleplaying is a great hobby but what makes it even greater is to have the chance to play with fun people and friends. Here are a few tips and tricks to make sure that you make an everlasting impression where every session is a dream-come-true for the other players.

  • Show up late
    Nothing shows better how cool you are than showing up late, preferably hours after the session starts. Even better if you don’t bring any snacks or beverages. Just make sure you have some terrific explanation at hand, e.g. I just wanted to finish building a full size version of Drizzt Do’Urden in Minecraft! 
  • Use other players’ dice without permission
    They wont mind – not at all – especially if you just grab their dice without bothering to ask for permission. In fact, they will probably thank you for loading their dice with your awesomeness.
  • Do NOT pay attention to the narrative
    Are there any books to read on the table? Did you bring your laptop along? Did you just download Bubble Mania to you smartphone? Make sure that you have something to do while the other players go through tedious and boring social encounters. And if some NPC addresses your characters, your answer should always be: Hm, what was that? What’s happening?
  • Take a nap
    Sessions can be long and sometimes it’s hard to stay awake while the other players try to figure things out. They won’t mind if you take a nap and will wake you up as soon as the Game Master presents some real encounters. With monsters, loot and stuff.  
  • Don’t set your phone on silent
    Even better, set the Teletubbies intro song as a ring tone and turn the volume up real high. But if you really want make every group member’s day, use a loud annoying sound as a notification sound for every app in your phone. The other players will quickly learn how important and cool you really are.
  • Make sure your character is awesomesauce incarnate
    It’s not your problem that the other characters can’t find ways to get along with Bob, your LG mindflayer cleric of Asmodeus. It’s not like he’s unfriendly, he might get under their skin in some situations but he means well.
  • Never stay in character
    This is a game, not a play. Being in character is for actors. Rolling dice and slaying monsters is your thing. If the other PCs talk to your character don’t answer them in character, even better, laugh each time they try. This will lighten the atmosphere and the other players will thank you for it.
  • Ignore one player completely
    It’s super funny when you do this. Just act as if one of the other players is simply not there. Don’t answer her, don’t make eye contact with her, always interrupt her turns with some hilarious unrelated remark. One thing though, don’t choose the player who has healing powers, you might need some later. No, ignore the bard. Always ignore the bard. Even if it has some minor healing powers.
  • Always metagame
    Hey, Bob has over 13 in intelligence, he knows what you know and more. He even knows his own HP status, things that happen when he’s absent and has the ability to see through walls and doors. Only losers don’t metagame.
  • Challenge all the Game Master rulings
    In this way every player will learn your, no, the right interpretation of the rules and they will be thankful for it. Just remember that the rules should always be read as written… unless it doesn’t suit you, then it should be read as intended and interpreted by you. It can really help if you constantly point out, that your old Game Master always agreed with you. If the Game Master doesn’t agree with you, just argue a little bit longer, and nag about it if she doesn’t give in. She will quickly learn the folly of her ways.
  • If your character dies, eat your character sheet. Slowly!
    Sometimes the Game Master makes a huge mistake and kills your character. If that happens, stay calm. After all, this was just a mistake. Only thing you need to do, is to rip small pieces of your character sheet and eat it, real slowly. Make sure you keep eye contact with the Game Master the whole time. This will be seen as a positive and friendly gesture, and in no way creepy. In the next session, remind the Game Master of her mistake, every 10 minutes or so, just to make sure that this wont happen again.

Do you know of more ways to make sure your fellow gamers love to play with you? Let us know.

Needless to say, this article is not to be taken seriously.

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Thorsteinn Mar

Thorsteinn has for long sailed the Astral Sea, eager to broadcast his heretical gospel to the uninitiated.
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